First contest entry...

OK, I have to admit I'm just a little disappointed that I wasn't chosen as a finalist in the Clarity of Night writing contest I recently entered. It was my first ever attempt at writing fiction for others to judge. I took the approach that I wanted to write it my way and not read any of the other finalists or winners from other contests, before I submitted my entry. I wanted to see what I could do with out that influence. In hindsight if it was all about winning the contest I realize this was a definite tactical error. In terms of learning and growing as a writer, I felt this was the right approach and I still stand by it.

Here for your entertainment and in hopes of soliciting additional feedback via comments, is my entry for the contest:



Ultimate Power
By Daniel Weise

“Where are they?” Joel hissed into her ear.

“Not here.” Mya responded.

“I need them. Now. I can’t control it without them.”

He released his grip on her tunic and she fell to the deck. She knew she had to see this through. Her tribe was counting on her to stop him.

“I know where they are, but you can’t get them. No one can.” She lied. It was a desperate move, but she was sure he hadn’t seen.

“You’re lying.”

The boat shuddered and groaned under the weight of another wave. The intensity of the storm was increasing.

She chose when to make her move very carefully. She had underestimated the fury of the storm without the dampening effects of the crystals, however.

As he drew back to hit her again, the boat was lifted and dropped onto the reef.

The hull shattered and bodies were broken and battered as they were thrown on the rocks and tossed by the waves.

She had done it. He was no longer going to enslave her people. She enjoyed a brief moment of freedom before she crashed down on the rocks and felt her spine snap just before oblivion took her.

The storm whipped waves ground everything into a pulp on the jagged rocks.

When the storm eventually relented, the only remnant of their existence was the 3 faceted crystals glinting among the debris, waiting for the next unsuspecting traveler to find them and become corrupted by their power.