The results are in...

The second round results from the NYC Midnight Short Screenplay Challenge have been posted and while I didn't make the cut to move on to the semi-final round, I did earn points in both of the first 2 rounds. To me that is pretty exciting - in my group, I wrote well enough to place ninth int he first round and fifteenth in the second round.  My total point score was 7.  It took 17 points to make it into the next round in my group.

The experience was wonderful and it helped me to push my boundaries and explore screenwriting. I actually like it and am definitely going to do more of it. I will take the feedback from both the judges and the peer reviews under consideration for future writing of all kinds.  Much of it was screenplay specific but other comments had more to do with setting and character development and I know I can improve that in much of what I write.

Will I do it again, probably.  Will I look for other challenges to help me expand and hone my craft - definitely.

The Hidden Score

Here is my submission for Round 2 of the NYC Midnight Short Screen Play Challenge. Our Genre was Crime Capre, Our Location was A Video Arcade and our object was A Bottle Of Olive Oil.

Enjoy!

THE HIDDEN SCORE

Who knew olive oil could be so special and rare.

FADE IN:

EXT. URBAN STREET WITH HISTORIC BUILDINGS, DAYTIME. COLORFUL ENTRANCE TO OLD STOREFRONT WITH SIGN ABOVE IN NEON THAT SAYS 'LANDINO'S FAMILY FUN CENTER.'

Beth (Early twenties redhead, 5' 4" with athletic build wearing jeans, tennis shoes and hoodie over t-shirt which reads 'Journey') and Tommy (Early twenties, heavy build, dirty blond crew cut, wearing jeans, and t-shirt with Pacman on it with a back pack on his back)Rush up the street towards the door.

BETH

(Slightly out of breath as they hurry along) You're sure we just needed the one bottle?

TOMMY

Yes. Bruce said that was the last thing we needed. 'The one with the mark on the label.'

BETH

OK, I just wanted to make sure.

Tommy reaches the door first and opens it, holding it for Beth to enter and following himself.

CUT TO:

INT. OF ARCADE DIMLY LIT AND NOISY WITH VARIOUS SOUNDS OF VIDEO GAMES.

Beth and Tommy work their way through the crowded arcade heading towards the back with the door to the work area.

TOMMY

Excuse me.  Sorry, Excuse me, pardon me, pardon me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, coming through.

BETH

Sorry, Thank you, Sorry. You know I just love that old Bugs Bunny routine.

Tommy reaches the door first and knocks on it 3 times, waits for 2 beats and then knocks 3 more times. After a short delay 2 knocks are barely heard back over the noise of the arcade. Tommy knocks twice more and the door opens revealing a dimly lit room within and a skinny, balding man in his late 30's dressed in a suit.

CUT TO:

INT.WORKROOM/OFFICE OF ARCADE. SEVERAL TABLES WITH MISCELLANEOUS ELECTRONIC PARTS STREWN AROUND AND A DESK COVERED WITH PAPERS. SHELVES FULL OF OTHER PIECES AND PARTS LINE THE WALLS OF THE ROOM. BEHIND THE DESK IS A WELL USED, WORN LEATHER EXECUTIVE CHAIR.

Pops (an older gentleman in his mid 60's, 6'4" with a shock of stark white hair and a wiry build) is on the phone while he sits in the chair behind the desk and looks towards the door as Bruce lets Tommy and Beth in.

POPS

(into the phone) Yeah, they just arrived... I haven't had a chance yet.  I'll let you know when I find out...OK...later...bye.

He hangs up the phone and stands to talk to Beth and Tommy.

POPS

Did you find it?  Did you find the Ozzastru?

TOMMY

(With a tone of suffering and lack of understanding) Yeah we found the olive oil in the locked cabinet, right where you said. What's so special about this olive oil, anyway?

POPS

(With a sharp tone and then exacerbation at having to explain to him one more time)Ozzastru is not just olive oil, it is the finest of oils made from the first pressing of olives from what is regarded to be the mother tree in Santu Baltolu di Carana in Sardinia, Italy. 

Tommy takes off his backpack, reaches in a retrieves a bottle. He hands it to POPS.

TOMMY

I get that, but what makes this so special?

POPS

The oil is said to have the power to restore health and beauty, but what's important to us is that it is worth $150 per ounce and each bottle contains twelve ounces.

BETH

So, you're saying that each bottle is worth 15 grand?

POPS

No, do the math again - Eighteen hundred dollars a bottle.

TOMMY

Times twenty four bottles, that's over forty thousand dollars a case!

POPS

Now you see why it was so important to obtain a verified bottle to authenticate the case. I happen to know of another 11 cases sitting in customs right now.

TOMMY

I get it now! There's money in oil!

Just then there is a knock at the door. Pops quickly puts the bottles into the box while Bruce heads to open the door.

POPS

Ah, that should be Mr. Samuels, right on time. Bruce, let him in.

Bruce opens the door and a very well dressed man enters the room followed by a bodyguard type carrying a briefcase. Pops stands and walks over to greet Mr. Samuels.

POPS

Mr. Samuels.  So nice to see you again.  Welcome to my humble establishment.

SAMUELS

Let's not pretend this is a friendly transaction.  You have something of mine I wish to retrieve.

POPS

You are mistaken. I am offering you something of value that I have acquired.

SAMUELS

I see. So there is more than what I lost?

POPS

See for yourself. I have a full case for sale.

SAMUELS

That's a deal.

POPS

But you haven't heard the price...

Just then the door is broken open with uniformed men rushing into the room and the bodyguard pulls a gun and badge from within his coat.

BODYGUARD

(yelling) FREEZE! FBI.  You are under arrest.

POPS

You're FBI?

SAMUELS

No, but I do love my oil and when your man took it, I contacted my friend here to get it back.

BRUCE

(Laughing) You idiot, I'm with Customs. We got word of a smuggler trafficking in stolen oil and set up this sting.

SAMUELS

Stand down men.(to BRUCE) you know that bottle he took was fake?

BRUCE

We did.  We've been tracking them since they left Greece.

POPS

So you mean there is no real Ozzastru here? 

BRUCE

Nope. We've got eleven more cases of fake as well.

POPS

Any chance I could keep this case as a memento?

BRUCE

Sure, in fact since the shipper is in the wind, I'll send the other cases over as well for the trouble.

POPS

Thank you, you are too kind.

Bruce, the uniformed officers as well as the Bodyguard and Samuels leave the office.

POPS

OK gang. I'm sorry. I couldn't let you know it wasn't a real job, but we had to follow their lead. Looks like we aren't getting rich today.  Sorry guys. Maybe next time. Tell you what the drinks are on me this evening.

They all file out leaving Pops alone in the office. His walks to his desk and dials the phone.

POPS

Hello... Yeah I'm alone. Got the bottle here. Its not even extra virgin? You are bad. OK, I'll retrieve them and bring them home. I know, I know there are 12 of them in each. We’ll get the rest when the cases come up for auction. Love you too dear.

He retrieves the marked bottle from the case and heads over to the sink where he grabs the strainer, opens the oil and pours it in. As the oil drains out twelve large diamonds are revealed.

Fade out.

Updates on things.

NaNoWriMo has come and gone and I'm a winner! YAY! I completed over 50,000 words for the month for a new novel I'm working on with input from my mother.  She would be the expert and inspiration for the piece.

The second item I'm happy about is my placing 9th in my group of 28 in the NYC Midnight Short Screenplay Challenge Round 1. I'm especially pleased to have garnered 6 points on my very first screenplay ever. You can read it here.

Round 2 of the challenge starts tomorrow night at Midnight and I can't wait to see what my group's assignment is.

The Vacation

Following is my submission to Round one in the NYC Midnight Short Screenplay Challenge 2014.  My group was assigned to write Fantasy, in a submarine with a magnifying glass.

I hope you enjoy it!


THE VACATION



Sarah and Abraham won an all-expense paid cruise to exotic places but it was more than they bargained for.


FADE IN:

INT. DAMP, MOLDY, DIRTY ROOM OF A SUBMARINE.

Sarah and Abraham are sitting in chairs on either side of a small table. On the table are various small petrie dishes and other glassware.

ABRAHAM

(with complaining tone)

Free cruise around the world she says. We'll travel to exotic places and see rare marine life she says. All expenses paid she says. The chance of a lifetime she says. Look where its gotten us... on the bottom of the ocean!

SARAH

(placating tone)

Now, dear it is all expenses paid and we are seeing marine life we haven't seen before.

ABRAHAM

You never mentioned the fine print, though, did you? You didn't mention we wouldn't be leaving the vessel. Nor did you happen to mention that we would be working in order to acquire our accommodations and food.

SARAH

OK, I may have mislead you but isn't it nice being away from the forest. Isn't this exciting?

ABRAHAM

It was nice for a few days, it was exotic , it was different, but that was 3 weeks ago! Now its just monotonous...

FADE TO BLACK

FADE IN:

INT. DAMP, MOLDY, DIRTY ROOM OF A SUBMARINE.

Straightening up from crouching over the table and gesturing with the magnifying glass in his hand.

ABRAHAM

OK, I will admit it is all expenses paid, but I would sure like to at least see the sun! And this exotic marine life isn't exactly easy to see even with this magnifying glass!

A loud mechanical buzzing invades the space downing out any additional dialog for the next 10 seconds as it ends...

ABRAHAM

(picking up in mid sentence)

Sheets on the bunks. I wish they would stop with the noise already. It reminds me of when you tried to learn to drive the old desoto.

SARAH

Well I did learn to drive it eventually. I think the problem may have been that...(the rest is drowned out by the recurring noise)

ABRAHAM

(once noise subsides)

Every other day, we are tormented by this noise. There is a pattern there, but I don't understand it. Can you dampen the vibration and quiet it down?

SARAH

I could but my reserves are down, I need the sun and fresh air to recharge.

ABRAHAM

OK, my love, don't worry about it. Let's see if we can't get some more work..(the rest of what he is saying is once again drowned out by the noise.)

Abraham waits for the noise to finish then sits back down to the table and holds the magnifying glass over a small dish. after a few seconds of looking

ABRAHAM

(IN A SATISFIED TONE)

Well, look at that I think I see a blue one but he won't stay still. Can you cast a stop motion spell here for a moment so I can grab it.

Sarah gestures with her hand and mutters under her breath

SARAH

There that is all I can do for now, my magic is all but depleted with the hull almost totally blocking me.

ABRAHAM

Got it! Thank you dear. Hopefully this is enough for today my eyes are getting hard to focus. Can you put this in the transporter?

Abraham hands a small pipette to Sarah who walks over to a small panel on the wall. She pushes the red button next to it. The panel opens and Sarah squirts the contents of the pipette into the receptacle. She then types in a code and hits the green button and a sound of water flowing is heard.

SARAH

I think that is all we need for our upgrade to...

Her voice is once again drowned out by the sound but this time it lasts a good 20 seconds. As it goes on both Abraham and Sarah stand and look at each other. The light gets brighter in the room as the noise stops. Then nothing happens.

FADE TO BLACK.

FADE IN:

INT. DAMP, MOLDY, DIRTY ROOM OF A SUBMARINE.

ABRAHAM

Three days. Three days we've been waiting for our upgrade. They said it would be 'soon' but now its been three days.

SARAH

Now, Abraham have patience, these things take time. They've always followed through in the past, there must be a delay for some reason.

A blinding light fills the room and Sarah and Abraham come together in an embrace as a large circular object intrudes on them from the ceiling and they are swept up into it.

As they disappear the camera zooms out farther and farther to show a pipette stuck into a dish with small compartments and a water sprite holding a magnifying glass.

WATER SPRITE

(in her own bubbling language with subtitles)

Found a mating pair this will earn us a penthouse!

FADE TO BLACK